The faint wail of the warp pad activating echoed lonesomely through the temple chambers. It disappeared into the suffocating veil of silence as softly and swiftly as it had arrived. Two thirty-seven on the dot, Garnet confirmed with a glance at the little alarm clock in her room. She knew the warp pad was Pearl clandestinely stealing away somewhere in the dead of the night. Pearl did that sometimes, in irregular intervals, but it was always two thirty-seven on the dot. Precisely like clockwork. Precisely like Pearl.
Garnet hadn’t asked Pearl where she was going, or what she was doing. Nor had she talked to her about it. She also hadn’t made use of Sapphire’s sight to look. Pearl, like everybody else, deserved privacy and alone time when she needed it. Especially so in times of pain and grief. Garnet appreciated any time she could spend on her own to navigate through the aching emptiness Rose’s passing had left in her heart.
Besides, the ever-diligent Pearl only ever snuck away like that when there was no mission due. She would always return before sunrise, never showing signs of having gone in the first place, leaving no trace of what she had been up to, never neglecting her duties. So, as far as Garnet was concerned, there were no issues.
Weeks later, the faint glimmer of the warp pad activating shone across the beach house windows in the dead of night once more. Garnet knew it meant it was two thirty-seven again. She sat on the stairs by the front entrance, watching the ocean waves caress the beach sands with its foamy fingers and deep gentle swooshes. A cold wind pushed from the ocean, carrying heavy clouds on the horizon; Summer was ending. Soon, the chilly autumn rains would arrive. By the looks of it, as soon as tomorrow, Garnet thought, eyeballing the dark clouds. She chanced a look into the future. Would Greg need help with Baby Steven?
Baby Steven remained a wondrous mystery to her. Unbelievably fragile and needy, incapable of even walking or talking. Greg had explained that was the norm for human babies, but the concept of babies remained beyond her grasp. Gems entered life ready-made, sure, and Steven was no Gem, or so Greg claimed, but even animals could walk and swim almost as soon as they came to be. This one, though, didn’t. He slept and ate and he screamed and he cried and he pooped and he looked at her with those funny eyes and tried to grab her with those tiny hands. And sometimes he chuckled. That was a most adorable sound and sight. The little one had already grown at least twice in size and weight since he entered the world and had at least tripled in adorableness. And yet, the little cutie pie remained helpless. So adorable, but so fragile. Truly a wondrous mystery. So Garnet looked into what tomorrow may be.
She saw herself visiting Greg and the little one together with Amethyst. They would play with the child, exchange pleasantries with Greg, and have a nice time, at least superficially. He had taken care of all pending arrangements regarding Baby Steven. The man is continuously growing more dependable, Garnet found herself thinking, somewhat relieved.
Pearl wasn’t there, though. Very unusual. Garnet looked through more probable futures. Pearl remained missing throughout the day in most of them.
Hmm.
Garnet stood up, dusted herself off, and headed for the warp pad. Her journey was short. Only a few moments later, she stepped off the warp pad on the other side of her trip and approached the amphitheatrical arena, where in times long gone Gems used to fight to entertain the gem public and nobility. These days, the Crystal Gems merely used it occasionally as training grounds. It was a reasonably safe and secluded place to get a little too wild for human eyes to witness without causing them distress.
Pearl, gliding through the air in precise acrobatic leaps with her eyes closed, didn’t seem to notice Garnet’s arrival. Garnet took a seat on the stone bench and observed quietly.
Pearl danced like the world was watching, like the empty stone-hewn seats were bursting with an unseen audience in stunned silence, their gazes following her every move. She leapt, jumped, turned, floated, and bent into hauntingly beautiful figures. Her precise movements cut through the air, sharp as blades.
I wonder what music she’s dancing to, Garnet thought.
Pearl danced on relentlessly. Her tempo and ferocity gradually took up speed, the rhythmical taps of her soles on the ground conducting the absent orchestra at a faster pace. Still-held figures and slow, deliberate motions faded into the past. Quick steps and turns became the dominant elements of this clandestine performance. Garnet felt a little guilty at observing this display meant for no eyes to witness.
Perhaps she’s dancing to the absence of music.
Over time, slowly but unmistakably, Pearl’s dance grew ever wilder and faster. She performed leaps, somersaults, mid-air pirouettes. As she landed on her toes, a slight tremble shook through her lean legs. Yet she danced on, flying anew through the air, circling herself twice, then three times, then four times. The tremble kept rising upwards towards her core, but she kept flipping and turning in a frenzied heat. It was when she completed a spectacular somersault that her ankle finally gave in. She lost her footing and stumbled, taking a sidestep to regain her balance. The music that never played stopped dead in its tracks. Pearl, frozen in the pose she was holding, opened her eyes.
“Urgh, this is useless,” she hissed, lowering her arms from above her head and releasing the figure she had been holding stubbornly. Pearl kicked a rock next to her feet.
The pearl on her forehead began to glow. She reached for it to pull out one of her swords. Once it was in her hand, she leaned forward, her gem still glowing. A cone of light shone from it, materializing a second, translucent Pearl in front of her. With a swift motion, she cut off the rays beaming from her pearl, completing the construction process.
“Do you wish to engage in combat?” the conjured Hologram Pearl asked in a mechanic voice.
“Yes,” Pearl growled.
“Commencing duel.”
In a blink of an eye, they swung their swords at each other. Their movements mirrored their opponent’s in perfect synchronisation. Clanks of metal hitting metal in the rapid exchange of blows filled the air with a deafening din. Pearl’s usually composed demeanour turned into an irritated frown.
“Why-” clang “won’t-” clang “you” clang “lose-” clang, Pearl grunted between hits of the blade.
As her annoyance grew, little by little Pearl exchanged her trademark grace and precision for more force in each swing, the initially small imprecisions in her strikes growing into savage blows.
“You-” clang “little-” clang “useless-” clang “excuse-” clang”for-” clang “a-” clang “gem-” clang “why-” clang “don’t-” clang “you-” clang “just-” clang “give-” clang “up-” clang “like-” clang “you-” clang “always-” clang “do” clang.
Pearl’s footwork became sloppy too. Her incessant brutish strikes were the only reason Hologram Pearl hadn’t made her lose her balance yet.
“I-” clang “hate-” clang “you-” clang “I-” clang “hate-” clang “you-” clang “I-” clang “hate-” clang “you-” clang “so-” clang “much-” clang.
By now, Pearl was just battering rabidly onto Hologram Pearl. With a swift precise motion, Hologram Pearl sent her sword flying across the arena. Garnet got on her feet, on stand-by to leap into action. Hologram Pearl drew to a sweeping sideway swing. It would’ve split Pearl in half. But Pearl quickly closed the distance and safely caught Hologram Pearl’s sword arm. Clamping it down under her left elbow, Pearl thrashed into her opponent’s face with her fist.
“Why-” smack “are-” smack “you-” smack “so-” smack “dis-” smack “gust-” smack “ing-” smack “ly-” smack “weak-” smack “I-” smack “hate-” smack “you-” smack “I-” smack “hate-” smack “you-” smack .
They tumbled over, Pearl remaining on top and showing no sign of relenting, still holding onto Hologram Pearl’s arm as she battered into her.
“Match-” smack “set.” smack “Challenger-” smack “wins.” Hologram Pearl announced robotically between hits to her face. Pearl didn’t seem to care.
“Why-” smack “are-” smack “you-” smack “so-” smack “weak-” smack “did-” smack “you-” smack “let-” smack “her-” smack “go-” smack “why-” smack didn’t-” smack “you-” smack “stop-” smack “her-” smack “why-” smack “didn’t-” smack “you-” smack “you-” smack “why-” smack “why-” smack.
Pearl screamed through her throat with every blow she descended into Hologram Pearl. A dent formed in the stone floor where the real Pearl bashed into her.
Garnet saw Pearl straighten her back, take a breath, and reach far behind herself to gain momentum for a vicious strike accompanied by a visceral scream. She watched her fist descend into Hologram Pearl’s face, go through it and smash the ground underneath her to smithereens, shattering her own swinging hand and arm into countless pieces, only to poof herself a moment later. Garnet closed the distance between her and Pearl in a single leap.
Pearl straightened her back, took a breath, and reached far behind herself to gain momentum for a vicious strike as Garnet softly put her hand on her shoulder.
“Wha-, who?” Pearl stammered as she scrambled to turn and found Garnet’s expressionless face looking at her. Garnet stood there calmly with her hand on her shoulder.
“Garnet? What are- I was just-” Pearl, still sitting on top of Hologram Pearl, gestured frantically. Finally seeming to notice the extent of the damage she had caused, she let her arms drop in defeat, her shoulders drooping along with them. Sinking into herself, her lower lip began to tremble as big shiny teardrops filled her eyes.
“It’s alright, Pearl.”
Hologram Pearl poofed away. “I’m sorry. I’m just-”
Garnet knelt beside her, her hand still on Pearl’s shoulder.
“You needn’t apologise. We all grieve in our own ways.”
These words blew a strike onto Pearl harder than any swing Hologram Pearl had thrown at her that night. She coiled back, frozen, looking frightenedly at Garnet. A first tear made its way over her cheek. Then her trembling lip twisted into a paining frown. One by one, her tears flowed freely into an unending stream.
And then, Pearl wailed. She wailed without restraint, clutching helplessly onto Garnet. With a long howl of pain, she held tightly onto her as she sobbed and shook.
“Everything I ever did was for her. But now she’s gone. And I’m still here,” she whined between agonizing cries.
Garnet embraced her tenderly.
“What am I supposed to do now?” Pearl continued. “What should I do?
Garnet stroked her tousled hair. “I don’t know,” she said.
Pearl wailed again.
“How do you do it, Garnet? How do you go on?”
“I don’t know,” Garnet said somberly. “I just try and do what needs to be done. One thing at a time, one step at a time.”
“I miss her so much”, Pearl snivelled, shaking, with a voice thinner than paper. “Ever so often I forget she is gone. And then I want to talk to her, or show her something, or see her, and then I remember, and every time it just hurts again and again and rips the ground from underneath my feet.”
“I miss her too. Every day.” Garnet wiped a tear.
The two gems held onto each other. Garnet cradled Pearl softly, hoping to comfort her somewhat in this way. The slow rhythmical motion turned into a more fluid one as Garnet and Pearl’s shapes dissolved into light, revealing three floating gems. The radiant mass stretched and squeezed into a larger one, the blinding light fading to reveal a figure much bigger than its original constituents - Sardonyx.
Sardonyx still donned her formal attire - the tuxedo, the bow, the gloves - but all of her garments, if you can call them that, were pitch black. Including the star on her chest and her glasses. The vivacious spring in her step and the cheeky smile were missing as well.
“I hear some humans say ‘grief shared is grief halved’, hoho.”
Her showbiz laught rang hollow. She sank back onto the floor, one pair of arms clasped around her head, the other around her knees. “Boy, were they wrong.”
Leaning back on her arms, she cried silent, bitter tears in quiet desperation.
Rose being gone had uprooted everyone’s life. Even if they had known in advance of her departure, they weren’t prepared for what it actually meant to see the sun rise and set and rise again with her gone. How does one even prepare for such a thing? How does one prepare for the sun to lose its warmth, the sky its color?
Sardonyx recalled how life used to be with Rose around.
Wading through swamps, forests, and jungles with Rose. Discovering Earth. Its beauty, its organic weirdness, its daily wonderfully chaotic madness.
Sitting by a fire on the beach with Rose. Singing and chatting and watching the ocean and the sun rise.
Never again.
Joking, laughing, chuckling with Rose at the kitchen table. Playing cards. Watching her get annoyed over constantly losing against Garnet, who absolutely definitely one hundred per cent didn’t use future vision to her advantage.
Drawing swords together. Following her charge into battle for freedom. Taking a blow for her so she could strike back in turn. Her hovering over them, covering them with her brilliant shield.
Never again.
Her determined demeanour as she laid out strategies for the next mission. The way everyone listened when she spoke. The way leading and commanding came to her as naturally as sunshine reflecting on the ocean waves.
That happy look she gave them when they returned home safely. The proud, quiet joy that look radiated, warmer than any fire could be.
Never again.
Seeing her eyes light up as she made some wonderful discovery of human mundane life. Like that one time she found out what ice cream was.
Never again.
The silly snort laugh she did when she understood a joke way too late, minutes after it had been told.
That one time she had fallen asleep on the beach and a seagull had begun building its nest in her hair.
Sardonyx chuckled through her tears.
That one time an elephant stole her hat with its trunk and she had to chase it for hours to get it back. Pearl swore that the elephant knew exactly what it had been doing.
Sardonyx giggled at the memory of Rose running after the cheeky elephant, yelling, upsetting several meerkats in the process.
“Oh Rose,” Sardonyx exhaled. “I wish you never changed.”
That one time Greg was making posters and she discovered that permanent markers were indeed permanent only after Garnet had let her draw cat whiskers on her and Pearl had gotten a long thin curly moustache. It took them weeks to scrub off the last traces of it.
Giggling, Sardonyx wiped her eyes underneath her pitch-black glasses. “Well, whaddaya know,” she stood up and dusted herself off. “We had some good times with Rose, didn’t we? We did, we certainly did.”
She let out a big sigh.
“But now – the show must go on,” she said, raising her head.
“Step by step.” She wiped her eyes again, giggling yet another time at the memory of the seagull being upset with Rose destroying its hard day’s work in her hair. She exhaled and clapped her hands. “Shall we, dear? The show awaits.”
A slow groovy bass line filled the air. It may well have been just a melody playing in her head, but it felt as if it permeated the entire space around her.
“Whaddaya say, Pearl, you wanna take the lead? Show them how it’s done?” Sardonyx moved her feet with the rhythm of the bass line and struck a pose.
The bass line disappeared.
“No, no, no. This is all wrong.”
Sardonyx put two of her hands in her pockets. With a third, she snapped her fingers rhythmically and tapped her foot in sync. After about a dozen snaps, she yelled - “Hit it, Jack!”
A quick drum beat strummed a propulsive swinging groove, following along with her snipping. As the beat struck up the first repetition, Sardonyx’s foot began tapping vigorously on the ground. By the third, she struck a pose, just in time for the unseen big band’s horn section to bellow out a visceral bang into a fast, jumpy melody. The trumpets went wild, giving her all they got. And Sardonyx danced. Boy, did she dance. Fast, small steps. Rapid turns. Grand expositional figures. And a hip swing that would’ve earned her the local’s recognition during Brazil’s carnival. Like the big band that wasn’t there, she too gave it all she got. Fast, free, unhinged.
As the band closed in on the end of the tune’s theme, Sardonyx produced her hammer in a blink of an eye. She struck it handle-first into the ground. It stuck there upright. She then slapped the hammer head with all four palms, and it shrunk in her hands, leaving her holding onto a microphone. She leaned into it and began to sing.
In this wild and wondrous garden
Bloomed a Rose, fair and strong
She grew her roots deep and harden’d
And her pricks inches long
As her petals danced with the wind
Her head still held up high
“List’n well love,” she said and grinned
“I know my time is nigh”
-
So long, oh Rose of mine, so long
Some day this ice will thaw and spring’s sun will shine
I’ll be here, tending this garden, singing this song
But you shan’t bloom ne’er more, oh Rose of mine
***
Many one tried this Rose to pick
Jealous, greedy, reaching
They all got a taste of her pricks
Each thorn a new teaching
My Rose stood proud through rain and storm
No flood, no draught shook her
And yet, the call of a new form,
a new life, then took her
-
So long, oh Rose of mine, so long
Some day this ice will thaw and spring’s sun will shine
I’ll be here, tending this garden, singing this song
But you shan’t bloom ne’er more, oh Rose of mine
***
The roots my Rose laid ran deep
Through earth and dirt and stone
Upheaving the realm of her keep
On fresh soil, the sun shone
Rotten ruin washed by summer rains
And soon new blossoms bloom
Tender growths now grace earthly plains
Where once was nought but doom
-
So long, oh Rose of mine, so long
Some day this ice will thaw and spring’s sun will shine
I’ll be here, tending this garden, singing this song
But you shan’t bloom ne’er more, oh Rose of mine
As the invisible band played the tune to completion, Sardonyx took a bow in front of an audience that wasn’t there.
“Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week. Drive safe!” she called out, sending kisses flying towards the empty seats. And with these words, she separated into a teary-faced giggling Garnet and a teary-faced giggling Pearl.
“Oh wow,” Pearly chuckled. “This would’ve been fun if it just didn’t hurt so darn much.”
“I know. It sucks,” Garnet replied with a soft smile, tears still wetting her cheeks.
“But it sucks a little less now,” Pearl exhaled tiredly. “Thank you for that.”
“Thank you, too. I think I needed that as well.” Garnet got up and approached her, extending a hand. “Shall we head home?”
“Yes, let’s do that,” Pearl said, taking Garnet’s hand. “Step by step.”
They silently walked back to the warp pad, still holding onto each other’s hands. With the high-pitched warping noise, the former fighting arena fell back into its usual deafening silence, broken only by the southern winds’ occasional chilly howls announcing autumn’s arrival.